It came to a moment when everything stopped. When I didn't cry anymore when I watch it. I just smiled.
But since mum left us... I'm back to that old state of me. Yes, I still fail to control this emotion sometime. I'm easily touched, become very sympathetic and in certain ways, more pessimist. (Hoping that my friends understand this fragile heart of mine and why I'm getting more uncool by day (Mcm la cool sgt kn.ehehe:))
I may be hard on the outside. But inside, who knows. Here's the vid. Some may have watched it but you can always watch it again...
I'm so glad that in her few last days of living... Although none of us knew she'll leave, I kissed her goodnight every night and tell her how beautiful she is. Which I rarely did. But yes I did. I slept with mum whenever I'm back home. I gave her five kisses. One on the forehead, on both cheeks, on her chin, and at the tip of her nose. The kisses were not awkward but I did feel weird repeating those same words every night. "Ma, ma cantik lah ma. Patutlah ma dapat anak cam na kan? Cantik jugak!" or "Ma, na cantik sebab ma kn. Na bulat sebab abah. Comel." She smiled, kissed me and told me to sleep. I'm glad I was with her. I miss her so much. Badly. Very much.