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Tuesday, December 23, 2008


Seriously, I don't know what to write here. Any idea?? Please, help me out!

Friday, December 5, 2008

Heart <3

Haha. Guess what my boyfriend actually said when he saw this...
"Huh? Setengah for org lain? Besar tuuu..."
("Huh? Half for others? That's BIG!")

Haha. Cute ;-) He was joking anyway when he said this. We laughed it out.

This is another picture I made using paint in this laptop. I hope that you'll find it better than the previous picture I did. I see this picture from different angles. I try to see it from other people points of view. Some may not be true for me but yes, it's true for others. So, let me just list it out. I'll be using 'me' (as a girl) and 'he' (the partner) here okay. Some of it may have something to do with what I feel, but some are not. So, please don't jump into conclusions and decide for me what I feel.

.This shows how others have hurt me a lot but slowly, he's mending it by bits even though it's not his fault.
.This shows that he's the only one that doesn't hurt me.
.This shows that he owns a big space in my heart.
.This shows how I place small rooms for my friends and family but still, they are here in my heart.
.This shows that he's working hard not to make my heart bleeds although it does bleed from time to time.
.This shows how my heart starts to bleed little by little after having to hold it inside for too long.
.Sometimes, no matter how hard I try to keep our heart from being hurt by others, eventually, they'll hurt me somehow.
.We can see the state of denial here. We usually say that our partner brings us happiness and no sorrows at all. Deep inside, we could still feel it even though we don't want to admit it.

If you have other opinions, please share. Thank you. ;-)

Monday, December 1, 2008

Tagged By Adah.

The instructions :

* Go to this website, and register.

* Upload one image of yourself.

* Get prepared by following the instructions.

* Select any artist or idol.


* View it on your blog and pass the tag!


+Darth Maul
+Freddy Kreuger



Haha. These are what I get if I don't appreciate this pretty face that God gives me :D I love myself. Very Much~!


Saturday, November 29, 2008

Tagged by violetz

Tagged by Violetz~

What Were You Doing 5 Years Ago ?
.5 years ago? How old was I back then? Hurm... 14? Owh, I was in Form 2. Well...
..I was busy understanding one of the Mathematics syllabus which was 'Bulatan'. Owh, I was such a bummer when it came to that topic. Haih.
..Was it that year my school reached it's 30th/31st anniversary? I was getting ready for the violin performance which then made me hate him so damn much~!
..Got my first SIM card which I'm still using till now although after several times losing it. Owh, I love that number.
..I was also busy with my theater for the National Level in Sekolah Menengah Sains Tengku Faris Petra. (Sorry if I spelled that wrongly).
..That was all, I guess.

What Were 5 Things On Your To Do List Today (30 November 2008)?
Today? Now it's 0055. Great! It's the beginning of a new day. The list:
.Get enough sleep.
.Call him.
.Walk around the house.
.Go swimming maybe?

What Are 5 Snacks That You Enjoy?
Sorry can't answer this question. I'm not into any kinda snacks.

What Are 5 Things That You Do If You Were Billionaire?
Buy a new house complete with the furniture and my dream cars.
.Donate to others.
.Fulfill my parents', family's and friends' needs and wishes, if it could be bought with money.
.Buy all the things I've ever wanted when I was poor.
.Spend it for my education.

What Are 5 Jobs You've Had?
.A friend.

Who Are 5 Persons You Want To Tag ?
.PD (Revenge is sweet ;))

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Tagged by Adah and Fikri

I've been tagged~!

Haha. Guess what? Seriously, I've been constantly thinking of what 5 things people don't know about me that I should write here. Really, for the last 3 days, this window has not been closed because I can't figure out what to write. Haih~

Well, after a close look of what should be written, I think, these characteristics describe me the most:

.Oh yes, I AM clumsy. Let me just tell you a few incidents that prove that I'm Miss Klutz:

(Look at the dates)

..251008: I went to my friend's open house in Bangi. In the taxi on the way there, I took out my phone from my handbag and realized that there was something wrong with it. So, I took the battery out and switched it on again. At my friend's house, I listened to my friend's ringing tone and realized that I should call my parents. Only after half an hour hanging at my friend's house, I realize that my phone was missing. I had left it in the taxi.

..271008: I went to the bank that morning to reactivate my bank account that I've never used before. I only registered for that because of the National Service thing. So, I went out of the car with my mum and a bank card and also a RM50 note in my pocket. When I reached there, I filled in the forms and when my number was called, I went to the counter. At that moment, I put my hand in my pocket to find that there was a hole in it, which I have known earlier. Seeing that there were only two customers in the bank, I hastily excused myself and let my mum finished dealing with the banker. I followed my way back to the car and found my bank card halfway there. It was at the back of a Mercedes car parked in front of a few lots away. My RM50 wasn't in sight. I rushed back to the bank and my mum was over with the thing I should have done. My mum told me to wait inside for the work to be finished while she went out to search for the RM50. and she found it! I was so glad. On the way back, she showed me where she found the money. It was in the middle of the road! Thank God nobody found it earlier than my mum. Thanx mum :D I thought that I'd never put anything in that pocket as I've known the fact that there's a hole in it. I guess, that was what I got from taking things for granted.

..271008: This happened right after the momentary loss of my bank card. I went to the school to take my SPM certificate. I thought it required me to bring along my IC. So, that was the only thing I brought with me that day.

..281008: I received a phone call from my former class teacher. He asked me whether I've lost anything. I said, 'My phone,' and he said, 'Owh, I don't know about that. Besides your phone, what have you lost?' Thinking hard what it has got to do with him, I got down to the real answer. OMG, my IC. I wasn't really panicking but when I remembered that I should be taking my IC with me to the examination hall the next week and I should go back to Penang the following day in the morning, I couldn't help but ran to my mum. Thank God she reminded me that I have a spare IC for that ;) Btw, I took the IC from him last week. :P

..291008: Immediately after returning back to Penang, I went out to Queensbay Mall (or izzit Prangin?). To get back, my friend and I took a taxi ride back to the institute. I just got out of the taxi when suddenly, he honked at us. I opened the back door and asked what was the matter and I saw that I left my purse in the backseat. Owh, Thank God he's a nice man. :D

..111108: This was the moment when I can't stop myself from going out everyday after the exam
was over. (061108-141108). But on the 11th November, none of my friends had the mood of going out as they were really tired of exploring the shopping malls the previous days. So, I urged them to at least go to TESCO so that I can go out on that day. When we reached there, we went straight for the ATM machine (we spent a lot of money the day before, buying clothes.) Then, we went to LEOMAG and I waited for my friends to buy waffle there. After that, we headed to Watson and Livin Cabin and Hinode Shop and went inside TESCO and finally, we hit the food court. There, I suddenly find that my purse was missing. Oh no~ My RM50 and my bus ticket to KL! I traced back my path I went through before and when I went down the TESCO elevator, there it was, nicely placed in front of LEOMAG, perfect for everyone to take it. I pushed my way through the crowds of people on the elevator and took my purse. Everything was still in its place. The people around there, realizing what was happening, only managed to flash a sly smile on their faces. Gosh, I was quite embarassed. But nevermind, at least, I got my purse back.

..151108: I reached the bus station at approximately 0915. My ticket, 1030. I went up to have my roti canai breakfast. When I came down, it was 1000. I waited and waited and waited but there was the Transnasional bus Iwas waiting for was nowhere to be seen. At 1025, I fell asleep on one of the chairs there. I woke up at 1035 and began searching for my bus. At 1040, I began panicking. At 1050, I came to realize that I was left behind. Damn...

.I guess, these are irrefutable proofs that I AM clumsy huh..?

Hide sorrows behind silly faces.
.Owh, of course my friends know all the silly faces I've made so many times before. Just look at Chris' blog and you'll know what I mean. But, what they don't know is what I'm hiding behind all that. Yes, I do hide my sorrows behind all those weird faces. I love seeing my friends' happiness. It just makes me forget all my worries, although it's only for that moment. Hurm, enough said of this.

Highly sensitive.
.Haha. I am undeniably sensitive. However, I rarely show it to my friends. Sometimes, what they say kinda stab my hard pretty bad but I keep it inside. O yes, that also points that I hold grudge inside. Yeah, that's bad but I can't help it. However, although the progress of losing the grudge is slow, it will eventuallt fade away and that's good. But yes, if people say something harsh to me and they are people who I thought would never say such things to me or someone dear, I'd probably cry in front of them and that shows how weak I am. Yes, yes, I do try not to take it seriously if someone's joking bout me because sometimes, they think that I never care bout what they say, well, I do care and although I try hard not to, I do mind in the end. Sorry for being so sensitive. This is one of the parts of me that I hate the most.

A critical thinker till I become irrational in thinking.
.Sometimes, I'm so good in judging on something. Most of the times, I suck at it when I become so irrational in decision makings and being an observer or even in other things. I usually look at the trifles which do not even the tiniest significance in it. If it's a small thing but it's important, then, it'd be great but when it comes to me, I'm a big disappointment. Once, he thanked me for calling him that day and I replied, "What? Why do you thank me for? So, all this while you didn't say 'Thank you' to me, does that mean that you don't appreciate me calling you? Huh?" and I'll start the fight. Oh, I pity him but at the same time, I couldn't help myself from doing so. It's funny how I look at things differently right? Or, should I say, disastrous? Sometimes, when nobody has thought of anything that someone had said, the words keep on repeating over again on my mind and that worries me a lot as I waste my time thinking of things that are not important. I usually forget the main points of what people say as I kept thinking of the small things they said previously. However, I am a good listener when it comes to my friends' problems.


.Annoyance: =(
..Lack of vocabulary. In my examinations, I often can't find the word to write in my essay and that makes me use a few words to describe something that can actually be explained in a word only. As seen in my blog, I keep on using the same words in my writings. Thus, that shows how I'm a big sucker at knowing better words. Ah, how I hate that~

.Bigger annoyance: =/
..When people ask me the meaning of the word, I don't know it. Or when people ask me what is the one word that can be used to describe something, I don't know. Oh, that annoys me very much. I feel like I'm a complete idiot when that happens. I tend to regret not reading more books than I should have. It also makes me regret not taking my father's advice of look up in the dictionary of words you don't know the meaning.

.Biggest annoyance: >=/
..When people ask me the meaning of the word I've heard and known before, I can't explain it or I can't remember. Ah, this is what irritates me the most! Things like this make me want to go back to my past very much. I really really really hate it when this happens. My memorizing skills is so bad. That is one thing I hate about myself. Really. I's such a big turn off when people ask us things that we DO know but at that time, we become do NOT know.

.I've written it all:D
.It's funny when you thought that there's nothing to write about when actually you can write so many here.
.O yes, I am complicated.
.Despite all this, overall, I still love myself.

Friday, November 21, 2008

I did this pic when I was full of anger that day. I can't really recall what happened but this was a picture I did in early 2008.

For me, this picture tells a lot about life. Here, I conclude it as, life is about falling in the right place. As we fall, we won't know what the end will be like. If we fall on one of the sharp ends, then, we'll be end up bad throughout our life. Anyhow, we'll be dead too, in the end when we hit the hard surface. But, while falling, we must work out what we think is the best. We choose our own destiny. Living each day like it's the last is always the best solution but at the same time, our future in the after life too, must be given a thought. Even though we have to live our life like we're gonna die the next day, we should put limitations and boundaries to it.

Another thing is, there are various stages in life which we have to go through. Some are hard to get through, some are easy, and there are even some of them that we cannot get pass it, especially if we don't try hard to get over it. Sometimes, I think that humans are too greedy to grab everything that's gotten in their path without thinking of others. But at the same moment, there are a number of cases where we cannot avoid it from happening.

I strongly believe in karma. Whatever you do, will eventually come back to get you. It either happens in the same situation, or somewhat like that or even totally on the contrary. Whichever way you take to avoid it, it WILL somehow happen in the end. So, don't ever do anything that you think can hurt yourself to others because it will get back to you later.

Haih. Come to think of it, after rereading this post, I really don't know what I'm talking bout. Hurm~

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Talk bout etiquettes.

Owh. I never knew that there are people who do not know the etiquette. What's the problem with them? This came up to me when I encountered a woman just now at the Queensbay Mall. Here's my story.

When I was walking out of the toilet, I noticed that my shoe lace was quite undone. So, I bent over to tie it up. As I was about to do so, suddenly, a woman that came from the opposite direction nearly knocked me over. I was about to say sorry when she spontaneously yelled at me, "Woi, jalan pandang depan la~!" ("Hey, watch ur steps!" Or if translated directly, "Hey, you walk, look in front la~!") OMG. I stopped and just looked at her.

I just lost words coz I never thought that people like that exist nowadays. Hurm. Is it possible that this happens because of their lost of respect towards each other? Where's the human sense that we've learned back then in our primary school? If I were the type of person that would shout back vulgar words to her, just imagine what the situation would turn out to be like. The next thing I know, maybe my face will be put up in, having a fight with someone I never knew. Nevertheless, I don't think so I'll reply back as I was too dumbfounded. Didn't their parents teach the lessons of life? Or are they just being too ignorant thinking it would make them superior? Well, NO! It hurt others, you know. Urgh~I just hate it when this happens.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

After a year and a half struggling to survive in this institute, I finally reached one of the most important point in my life where I have to take my examination for my foundation course here. I would not say that it was a great one but I did feel so when I answered the first two papers. The next two were a disaster. Ah, how I wish I could go back in time and resit the examination all over again. The thing I fear the most is that I will disappoint my parents who I believe have put their trust in me. I fear that I will crush the world onto them as I'm afraid that I'll get low marks in my examination :( Apart from that, IF (a BIG 'if' here) I fail these papers, I will not get the chance to pursue my studies and be a teacher. It's such a waste when after studying 1.5 years here, I'll just leave this institute because of my failures. Damn, I'm scared now. It's not a matter of going overseas or not. I don't mind that much as I've been there before. Maybe if it's United Kingdom or New Zealand, I'll be excited to go. But Australia? I wanna go there for two reasons then. To study, of course and to meet my foster family over there (IF they still remember me. Haha). Another reason why I don't mind that much of going to Australia is because my parents put high hope on me as they wanted me to take my degree in B. Ed TESL in the United Kingdom but when the result came out, I was a HUGE disappointment to them :( How again, I wish I could turn back the time.

If only I could...

Monday, November 10, 2008


I've been here for the last one month but this is my first entry. I've been waiting for the right time to start blogging and I think, this is the time. As my examination is over and my mind is all cleared by those things, I'd better start blogging now before new things come up.

Hello to all my friends out there. Here, I'll write about my life, my feelings, and anything I feel writing about. I may put poems I made myself or others, excerpts from articles or stories, and pictures. So, it's mainly about how I see life. Sometimes, I think it's funny how life plays tricks on us and how we're fooled by appearances but somehow, some things are not how it appear or seem to be.

So, hope you'll enjoy what you'll read in my post then. Till then, I thank you~!
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