After a year and a half struggling to survive in this institute, I finally reached one of the most important point in my life where I have to take my examination for my foundation course here. I would not say that it was a great one but I did feel so when I answered the first two papers. The next two were a disaster. Ah, how I wish I could go back in time and resit the examination all over again. The thing I fear the most is that I will disappoint my parents who I believe have put their trust in me. I fear that I will crush the world onto them as I'm afraid that I'll get low marks in my examination :( Apart from that, IF (a BIG 'if' here) I fail these papers, I will not get the chance to pursue my studies and be a teacher. It's such a waste when after studying 1.5 years here, I'll just leave this institute because of my failures. Damn, I'm scared now. It's not a matter of going overseas or not. I don't mind that much as I've been there before. Maybe if it's United Kingdom or New Zealand, I'll be excited to go. But Australia? I wanna go there for two reasons then. To study, of course and to meet my foster family over there (IF they still remember me. Haha). Another reason why I don't mind that much of going to Australia is because my parents put high hope on me as they wanted me to take my degree in B. Ed TESL in the United Kingdom but when the result came out, I was a HUGE disappointment to them :( How again, I wish I could turn back the time.

If only I could...