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Wednesday, December 23, 2009

7 December 2009

That date is by now, long gone. But I won't forget everything that happened on that day and the previous week. Okay, this post is very lengthy and wordy. You can just skip everything but really, this post means a lot to me.

19 Nov
  • Came back from BTN. Here are a couple of pictures of us over there.
Thanx to Syawqi for the last picture :)

20 Nov
  • Someone stole my money.
  • Minutes later, got a deadly call from this one lecturer, told me I've to resit for my exam, and I was the only ONE.
  • To make matters worse, the exam will be on my birthday, Dec the 7th.
  • Myra was there. So, she was the only one who knew. That night, I told a friend, A bout this.
Myra and a friend, A :)
23 Nov
  • I finally got a grip of myself, looking on the positive side of everything.
  • Broke the news to FiZi, which caused us to be in an argument since my emotional wasn't that stable.
  • Mum heard the argument and asked me what it was all about. I told her, I failed the previous exam. She lost words.
  • I told Zawa. I thought she'll understand my situation since she was in the same state. And yeah, she did.
  • I told Meen but she didn't say much. She was really surprised and apologized.
  • I told X, and he gave supportive words and was puzzled when I know that the fact that he had once failed before.
  • Told another friend, C too.
24 Nov
  • Most people were still anxious to know who failed since they were scared they failed. Since everyone didn't expect I was the one who failed, many asked me bout the failure, whether I know the person, what subject the person failed. So, I felt really guilty for not telling them all this while.
  • Finally, I announced my failure in the Facebook cohort group and I felt relieved.
  • Most thought that I was joking and everyone supported me. Thanx. Seriously, I was touched by all the supports and convincing words.

25 Nov
  • Played basketball Ezy, Syawqi, Meen, her cousin, Yon and friend, and my FiZi was there too. Made new friends with Intan, Syawqi's bakal adik ipar :P, Josh and Waseem.
  • Had a great laugh on the way back in Intan's car. Thanx for sending me home. Had a great time with u guys.

With Meen and Laila.

FiZi was there too, oh, I was on the phone with Mr. A :)

On the go. Running away from the bad thoughts.

29 Nov
  • Went back to the institute.
  • Stayed in Nona Block since I didn't hand in my key and stayed in my old room.
  • The block was deserted because the KDCs (Kursus Dalam Cuti) went back home for their Hari Raya Korban.
all alone

30 Nov
  • The KDCs were back.
  • Had a class with Miss Joyce from 8-10am and Miss Lau's 12-2pm.
  • 2.30pm, Myra came and bought me Big Mac McValue Lunch (which I ate at 11 that night). Iwa, Swan, Zahida, Jijol also were there to hand in their forms to Madam Mariah.
  • They went back at 6 and again, I was all alone.

1 Dec (A day)
  • A friend, A (Mentioned him above) surprised me with his presence.
me (^_^)...(^_*) A
like it when u're there

2 Dec (C day)
  • That friend, A had to go back the next morning and another friend, C came along that afternoon.
me (,") ... (",) C
thanx for accompanying me

3 Dec
  • I borrowed his laptop to Mdm Soo Hoo's class from 3-5pm. That evening, C said goodbye and I was talking to myself.
alone again. but happy

4 Dec
  • Said hi to a KDC (in the toilet) and we introduced ourselves. She was just as curious as the other KDCs, seeing a cute young girl all alone going in and outta her room, only to mandi and amek wudhuk. Hahaha.
  • Since this KDC is from Taiping, I texted someone, D from there too and told him about it and my failure.
hello kkk KDC (,") (",) hi adek TESL
  • No!! My laptop suddenly went dead and I couldn't switch it on again. ALL Mdm Soo Hoo's notes are in it! I'm doomed. 3 days to my exam. On the bright side, I can't spend much time playing computer games anymore. Haha :)

6 Dec
  • Woke up feeling groggy. Dreamt that my teacher wanted to kill me because I slept and didn't study. It was a nightmare! Didn't dare to sleep again.
  • Met again the KDC and she told me to join her friends and her for lunch.
  • We went to Tesco and I reintroduced myself. Got along with them well and they said that I was about the same age as their children. Haha. So, they took great care of me.
  • That night, again, we went out for dinner.
  • My roommate, Iwa came that night and accompanied me and we studied together.
  • She slept early.
With my roommate :)

7 Dec (The exam day)
  • 12 am, got many birthday and good luck wishes from loved ones. Thank u for being thoughtful :) Btw, the wishes got in as early as 11.45 pm the previous day :P
  • 2.30 am, I tried my best to get my sleep but my heart thumped loudly and it felt like I could hear my own heartbeat. Seriously, I was so nervous that I couldn't get my sleep that night. I texted A and he insisted that I should get some sleep or else, I would be restless in the exam hall. I still didn't get my sleep and studied.
Studying with my eyes half open
  • 4.30 am, FiZi and A woke me up to do my studies and I told them I didn't sleep.
  • 6.06 am, Ilya called from Ireland, wishing me Happy Birthday. Thanx dear sis :) and wished me Good Luck for my exam although she doesn't know it was a referral exam.
  • 6.30 am, got wake up calls from mum and friends.
  • Before 8am, people wished me last minutes good luck :)
  • 8.30 am, I sat my referral exam with the 101 other KDCs. I was the only one sitting for a referral exam in Dewan Agung and sat on the 102nd seat.
  • 10.35 am, I walked out of the exam hall slowly since the KDCs only finished at 11am.
  • Switched on my phone and told people that it's over.
exam's over
  • Got a msg from this person, X who told me a week earlier that he'll come (well, he didn't promised though. He just said he might) erm, but I dunno why, he cancelled it last minute (later I asked and it was such an UNREASONABLE REASON he gave me). Was VERY disappointed. Enough of that. Hurm
  • Met several lecturers. They were very surprised indeed with the fact I failed the exam. Some thought I was sick that day. Some assumed my pen finished its ink. Haha.
  • Went out with Iwa to QB after Zohor and she left me at 3pm.
  • I bought 3 movie tickets, Love Happens, Christmas Carol and Ninja Assassin (which FiZi later told me that he wanted to watch it with me. Huhu. Sorry)
  • When the last movie ended, it was at 8pm and I explored QB and greeted strangers. I bought myself a birthday cake.
Happy Birthday to me..
Happy Birthday too me...
Happy Birthday to Ilyana Zafirah....
Happy Birthday to me...
O no! I'm 20!! No more in my teen years...!
But it's okay, I've lived those years well :)
  • 9.45 pm, bought McD and sat on the rocks in front of QB, facing the ocean. I felt at ease. I sang the birthday song and cried. That was the first time I celebrated my birthday alone. The sense of loneliness slowly, crept into me...
  • 10.30 pm, caught a bus to Sg Nibong to buy my bus ticket to Shah Alam the next day. I accidentally dropped off early and had to walk to Sg Nibong which was 200m away. It was dark and I was scared when I received a text from Madam Mariah asking how does a birthday girl spends her day. She soothed me by telling me that's a great birthday gift, enjoying my own company as not many can do that. Thanx Madam :)
  • I took a taxi ride to the institute and the told him to come and pick me up the next day at 9 since my bus was at 9.45 am.
8 Dec
  • At 8.50, I was anxious. I dialed the taxi number and the guy answered. His voice suggested that he just woke up and he had no idea what I was talking about. I was getting fidgety at this. Couldn't sit still. Felt like slamming the phone against the wall when this person asked me, "Jap, carik siape nie sebenarnye?" And I said, "Encik Zali". He told me I got the wrong number. I said sorry and hung up and thought to myself, "Damn, I'm being cheated. He gave me the wrong number. Who should I call now? I need a taxi ASAP." Then, I tried dialing up the number again.
  • Before he could say anything, I asked him, will he be able to reach my place before 9? And he asked me "Nie yang td ke?" I said, "Huh, td? x. yg semalam sy naik taxi tu." And he said, he was the same person I called previously. I said sorry and hung up, again.
  • Okay, I started panicking when the thought struck me, I should give it a final try and I slowly dialed the taxi's number. A different person picked up and he told me he'll be there 5minutes. So, I checked out the number and realized, I dialed 017 instead of 014. Haha. Funny me. I texted the wrong guy and apologized. He replied and I saved his name under "Wrong Taxi". He was shocked when he received the call since he's in Kota Bharu and had to come to Penang to pick me up. :P
(,")hello new friend(",)
  • I spent the next 10 minutes in the taxi, telling the driver about that incident and we laughed together.
  • 9.45 am, I was on my way to Shah Alam.
"There's never a failure. Just a series of delayed success."

*Thanx a lot everyone for the birthday wishes and never-ending supports till the very last minute :)
*Can't describe much or tell what I did with my two friends from the 1st till the 3rd since I don't think they want their identity to be publicized. (Thanx guys.)
*I'm now friend with the person who I gave a wake up call to be my taxi driver :P
*Lotsa things I learned from this experience. I learned how to sleep alone with the lights off, I met new people, I made new friends, I know that there are so many people that care bout me, how to survive when there's no one around and lots more. It's an experience I'll never forget.
*Thank u IPG Kampus Pulau Pinang for giving me such a birthday gift. Seriously, thank u :)

.i love my life.very much.




kacipcrew said...

hurm.. usually i just ignore lengthy post from ppl.. but just by looking at this.. i know this is a good post and i was right.. there's no regret reading this.. aihs.. mcm review pulak..

i know there are so many ppl out there envy u.. ;)


The Exquisite Instigator said...

Thanx a lot PiDi :) U were one of those who sent me last minute msg :) Ur msg was the last one I read before entering the exam hall. Thanx a lot.

mira arifin said...

same like pidi...your post make me feel anxious and wanna read more and more and more...dh lame2 baca mcm best shows people around u want u to be positive and happy...:)

The Exquisite Instigator said...

Thanx mira. siyes tharu korang bace smpai abes. Glad to have people like u guys as friends ;)

reenkyra said...


Att Ashburn said...

ouh yup mmg pjg..
tp tak rugi baca..
well,i can't say that I really understand ur feeling when you failed the paper. especially when it comes to thing you're good at..
I've been in that situation before. Student at risk..and believe me,my condition was worst than u. i cant even think positive for one sec. I felt lonely, i felt depressed..

but then it started to feel better. Friends did make me feel better. And I've learned something valuable, like always be humble no matter how good you are..

That's the thing. We learn from the past.but at the end, kita yang pilih whether nak bangun dari kegagalan tu, so that kita jadi orang yg lebih baik, atau termenung pjg, mengeluh psl kegagalan tu, and no effort at all to improve ourselves. You've chosen the right path. So, congratulations..

Wishing you all he best, and happy belated birthday, Ilyana Zafirah..
sorry for the lengthy comment..hehe

chris_lim said...

I tot my bday was quite sucky but U won! Sry to hear actually, but i know u will make the best out of a shitty situation.

QisTina said...

wow great experiences.
in the end, you made it babeh!
like your post very much.
you're a strong gurl. like seriously.

Happy belated Birthday!

anak pak man said...

happy belated birthday!

i didn't know..

And, the moment at QB facing the ocean, tears in my heart..

sure made me rethink myself..

thank u n gud luck!

The Exquisite Instigator said...

Thanx for the smile mike :)

Att, hey, thanx for the comment. A lengthy comment for a lengthy post ;) Yeah, we've to choose either one whether to accept the failure and keep on thinking bout it or to accept the failure and turn it into a success. Glad I made it thru, glad I didn't disappoint my lecturers, parents and friends and most importantly, I proved to myself that I'm better than I thought I was :)

Chris, thanx for being sympathetic. I hope next yr u'd help me to be a better student :) Academically I mean. :P

Thanx Qistina. I'm strong for having great, loving people around me :)

Anak Pak Man, qb's shore is sure a good place to relax urself kan. especially when there's no one around. You're welcome. I did wanted to tell u bout my failure because I have ur number but at that time, I didn't feel like it. Sorry and ure welcome :)

chris_lim said...

Wrong person to go to in academics. Unless u dun mind being super lazy, sending in assignments 2 weeks after the due date and studying an hour before the exam.

toradengdang said...

cheer up taw aza so sad 2 hear u feel soo lonely, but then that's time gud friends come n support u n also all the lecturers.huhu we sure gonna miss them all

The Exquisite Instigator said...

haha r u talking bout me, indirectly? haha. no la. i mean, if i siapkan my kerja awl (A BIG "IF" HERE), i nk u cek kn my work. hohoho.

The Exquisite Instigator said...

masu, thanx ;) good friends bring good fortune :)

SarjaN yO said...

salam ziarah...follow me back...

The Exquisite Instigator said...


=) said...

salam..hii~ i always follow ur blog.but this post is sooooo tears rolling down when i read it.. sitting alone facing the ocean in a lonely nite is the best way to reflect what we hv done.. believe in ur self n go for what u want.. May Allah bless all ur hard work gurl. He'll not forget u as long as u r not give up towards him..hepi belated bufday.. =)

The Exquisite Instigator said...


thanx a lot for ur lovely comment :) i wish i know who u r...

your friend said...

i wish i can accompany you during those hard times..
unfortunately, my financial prob won't allow me come to ipg.
im soooo sorry..
always wish that i can be a much much better friend to you..
love u~

your friend said...

adeh, ttinggal 'to'

The Exquisite Instigator said...

thanx :) but it's okay.

my friend? name?

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