Thank God

Back then, I had this tendency of thinking that my life is miserable. I often wish that I had a better life and I couldn't help but hate myself. I realized that I had this mind setting since I was in Form 1 (2002). Well, thanx to everyone who has helped me to get through this life. I just found out (Well, not really just, but since May 2008), I realize that I love my life so much and there's nothing else I could ever ask for. I have a great family, adorable friends, and the next-to-perfect kinda boyfriend. I wonder what else could have I asked for back then. I regret the years that I've spent looking down upon myself. It was such a waste thinking that I refused to spend my years with optimistic visions rather than being a pessimist. I thank God for letting me know these people~

:My family : Abah, Ma, Ayie, Zani, Ilya, Bb, Eli
:Him : FiZi
:True friends : Those I've known since I was still a little girl (Well, obviously, not ALL of them)

Initially, I wanted to put the pictures of them here but then, maybe in my next post. ;) It will be on these wonderful people that God has placed on Earth whom I love so much~

Exceptional

This is my first post that uses a song lyrics. Well, of course I don't post it here for nothing coz then, it will not be called as a post of mine. This song has a very deep meaning to it (at least, it does, to me). It was dedicated to me by a dear friend (the name is classified as she may not prefer me to tell the world who she is). Thanx a lot to her for making me feel special living in this world. This song is one of the factor of why I am the person I am today.

Mmmm

You're beautiful but you don't know
Can't see what's there inside your soul
Always feelin like you're not good enough
You wish you could be someone else
Sometimes you just can't see yourself
But I can see just who you are, who you are

You're exceptional the way you are
Don't need to change for nobody
You're incredible, anyone can see that
When will you believe that?
You are nothing but exceptional
(Yeah)

You never you think you measure up
Never smart or cool, or pretty enough
Always feeling different from all the rest, oh
You feel so out of place, you think you don't fit in
I think you're perfect in the skin you're in
You're just perfect just how you are, just how you are, yeah

[chorus]
You're exceptional the way you are
Don't need to change for nobody
You're incredible, anyone can see that
When will you believe that?
You are nothing but exceptional

If you could see the one I see when I see you
You'd know how lucky you are to be you
I see through into you
And you are

You're exceptional the way you are
Don't need to change for nobody
You're incredible, anyone can see that
When will you believe that? (You are)
You're exceptional the way you are
Don't need to change for nobody
You're incredible, anyone can see that
When will you believe that?
You are nothing but exceptional

Thanx a lot my dear friend. We may not hang out that often together but please remember that you'll always be close to me. You may not check out my blog that often but I really do appreciate you being there when I need you. You may frequently think that you're forgotten but you never are. Trust me. We've had a few fights before because of my clumsiness. I admit that. Yes, I'm Miss Klutz. But I'm not Miss I-Love-Hurting-My-Friends. It's just that I've this problem of remembering things. Ever since we've known each other (July 07), I never wanted to hurt your feelings. I love you my friend.

When not knowing what's best to kill the time...

S>U>R>V>E>Y

MYSELF :
1. 1 word best describe you?
+ Indescribable ;)
.
2. your worst habit?
+ Sleep with the elio basi byk2. Hehe.
.
3. day or night person?
+ Night, too bad :(
.
4. left or right handed?
+ I'm a righty :D
.
5.favorite colour ?
+ Blue. Baby blue to be specific :)
.
FAMILY
1. your parents names
+ Mohd Fauzy and Mashithah
.
2. where do your family live?
+ Section 12, Shah Alam
.
3. siblings
+ Sixty six. Heh. Six only :)
.
4. nicknames
+ Ilya, Il, Aza, Fina, Fira, Yana (Btw, I hate when people call me this because it's only for certain loved ones), Nana. Huhu. Anyone can suggest a new one?
.
5. closest in d family
+ Ilyana Zafirah. Heh.
.
STUDIES
1. your current education
+ B. Ed TESL. Or izzit TESOL? Uh, not sure.
.
2. favorite school/university
+ Sekolah Kebangsaan Seksyen 9.
.
3. best exam result
+ Drjh 1, all 100% except BM, 99.5%. Haha. So funny recalling the moment when I was furious with my teacher. Gosh, sy sungguh comel ;)
.
4. worst exam result
+ Hate to admit this but kat Sek Agama, Bahasa Arab, 3%, And secondary school, Add Math 12%. Huhu. Old memory. It's okay. At least, I scored A2 for my Add Math in my SPM examination ;)
.
5. favorite class/subject
+ English, as it has always been :)
.
FRIENDS
1. your bestfriends
+ Mohd Nor Hafizi bin Abdullah <3Adibah Mokles, Liyana Zakaria, Sazatul Izyan Alias, Wan Najah Daud and I would say Zawakhair and Amirah Khairilanuar too, and yes, Nurizwah :) 
.
2. give or take
+ Have given and have taken :) Will give and will take :D
.
3. do u remember their birthdays
+ Yes, I do. What are friends for..?
.
4. do you tend to choose friends who have many things in common with u?
+ Yes, but I can get along with most people 
.
5. life without friends...
+ Equals to EMPTINESS.

RELATIONSHIP
1. your status
+ Taken and loving every single bit of it ;)
.
2. how many times have you fallen in love
+ Twice  Seriously, once I guess.
.
3. name your current lover
+ The one who is one of my bestfriends. Mohd Nor Hafizi bin Abdullah. He is the current one and will always be. Amin~
.
4. why are u still with this guy/girl
+ With this thing called love, there's no way I'll stop being with this lovely and adorable man ;)
.
5. the most important thing in relationship
+ Trust, loyalty, honesty and of course, LOVE itself <3

ATTENTION!

Seriously, I don't know what to write here. Any idea?? Please, help me out!

Heart <3

Haha. Guess what my boyfriend actually said when he saw this...
"Huh? Setengah for org lain? Besar tuuu..."
("Huh? Half for others? That's BIG!")

Haha. Cute ;-) He was joking anyway when he said this. We laughed it out.

This is another picture I made using paint in this laptop. I hope that you'll find it better than the previous picture I did. I see this picture from different angles. I try to see it from other people points of view. Some may not be true for me but yes, it's true for others. So, let me just list it out. I'll be using 'me' (as a girl) and 'he' (the partner) here okay. Some of it may have something to do with what I feel, but some are not. So, please don't jump into conclusions and decide for me what I feel.

Perspectives:
.This shows how others have hurt me a lot but slowly, he's mending it by bits even though it's not his fault.
.This shows that he's the only one that doesn't hurt me.
.This shows that he owns a big space in my heart.
.This shows how I place small rooms for my friends and family but still, they are here in my heart.
.This shows that he's working hard not to make my heart bleeds although it does bleed from time to time.
.This shows how my heart starts to bleed little by little after having to hold it inside for too long.
.Sometimes, no matter how hard I try to keep our heart from being hurt by others, eventually, they'll hurt me somehow.
.We can see the state of denial here. We usually say that our partner brings us happiness and no sorrows at all. Deep inside, we could still feel it even though we don't want to admit it.

If you have other opinions, please share. Thank you. ;-)

Tagged By Adah.

The instructions :

* Go to this website, and register.

* Upload one image of yourself.

* Get prepared by following the instructions.

* Select any artist or idol.

* GO MORPH!

* View it on your blog and pass the tag!

+Chewbucca

+Darth Maul

+Freddy Kreuger

+Monkey

+Yoda

Haha. These are what I get if I don't appreciate this pretty face that God gives me :D I love myself. Very Much~!

Tag:
.Reenkyra
.PD

Tagged by violetz

Tagged by Violetz~

What Were You Doing 5 Years Ago ?
.5 years ago? How old was I back then? Hurm... 14? Owh, I was in Form 2. Well...
..I was busy understanding one of the Mathematics syllabus which was 'Bulatan'. Owh, I was such a bummer when it came to that topic. Haih.
..Was it that year my school reached it's 30th/31st anniversary? I was getting ready for the violin performance which then made me hate him so damn much~!
..Got my first SIM card which I'm still using till now although after several times losing it. Owh, I love that number.
..I was also busy with my theater for the National Level in Sekolah Menengah Sains Tengku Faris Petra. (Sorry if I spelled that wrongly).
..That was all, I guess.

What Were 5 Things On Your To Do List Today (30 November 2008)?
Today? Now it's 0055. Great! It's the beginning of a new day. The list:
.Get enough sleep.
.Call him.
.Eat.
.Walk around the house.
.Go swimming maybe?

What Are 5 Snacks That You Enjoy?
.Sorry can't answer this question. I'm not into any kinda snacks.

What Are 5 Things That You Do If You Were Billionaire?
.Buy a new house complete with the furniture and my dream cars.
.Donate to others.
.Fulfill my parents', family's and friends' needs and wishes, if it could be bought with money.
.Buy all the things I've ever wanted when I was poor.
.Spend it for my education.

What Are 5 Jobs You've Had?
.Student.
.Teacher.
.Lover.
.Daughter.
.A friend.

Who Are 5 Persons You Want To Tag ?
.PD (Revenge is sweet ;))
.Reenkyra.
.Chris.
.Att.
.Swan.

Tagged by Adah and Fikri

I've been tagged~!

Haha. Guess what? Seriously, I've been constantly thinking of what 5 things people don't know about me that I should write here. Really, for the last 3 days, this window has not been closed because I can't figure out what to write. Haih~

Well, after a close look of what should be written, I think, these characteristics describe me the most:

Clumsy.
.Oh yes, I AM clumsy. Let me just tell you a few incidents that prove that I'm Miss Klutz:

(Look at the dates)

..251008: I went to my friend's open house in Bangi. In the taxi on the way there, I took out my phone from my handbag and realized that there was something wrong with it. So, I took the battery out and switched it on again. At my friend's house, I listened to my friend's ringing tone and realized that I should call my parents. Only after half an hour hanging at my friend's house, I realize that my phone was missing. I had left it in the taxi.

..271008: I went to the bank that morning to reactivate my bank account that I've never used before. I only registered for that because of the National Service thing. So, I went out of the car with my mum and a bank card and also a RM50 note in my pocket. When I reached there, I filled in the forms and when my number was called, I went to the counter. At that moment, I put my hand in my pocket to find that there was a hole in it, which I have known earlier. Seeing that there were only two customers in the bank, I hastily excused myself and let my mum finished dealing with the banker. I followed my way back to the car and found my bank card halfway there. It was at the back of a Mercedes car parked in front of a few lots away. My RM50 wasn't in sight. I rushed back to the bank and my mum was over with the thing I should have done. My mum told me to wait inside for the work to be finished while she went out to search for the RM50. and she found it! I was so glad. On the way back, she showed me where she found the money. It was in the middle of the road! Thank God nobody found it earlier than my mum. Thanx mum :D I thought that I'd never put anything in that pocket as I've known the fact that there's a hole in it. I guess, that was what I got from taking things for granted.

..271008: This happened right after the momentary loss of my bank card. I went to the school to take my SPM certificate. I thought it required me to bring along my IC. So, that was the only thing I brought with me that day.

..281008: I received a phone call from my former class teacher. He asked me whether I've lost anything. I said, 'My phone,' and he said, 'Owh, I don't know about that. Besides your phone, what have you lost?' Thinking hard what it has got to do with him, I got down to the real answer. OMG, my IC. I wasn't really panicking but when I remembered that I should be taking my IC with me to the examination hall the next week and I should go back to Penang the following day in the morning, I couldn't help but ran to my mum. Thank God she reminded me that I have a spare IC for that ;) Btw, I took the IC from him last week. :P

..291008: Immediately after returning back to Penang, I went out to Queensbay Mall (or izzit Prangin?). To get back, my friend and I took a taxi ride back to the institute. I just got out of the taxi when suddenly, he honked at us. I opened the back door and asked what was the matter and I saw that I left my purse in the backseat. Owh, Thank God he's a nice man. :D

..111108: This was the moment when I can't stop myself from going out everyday after the exam
was over. (061108-141108). But on the 11th November, none of my friends had the mood of going out as they were really tired of exploring the shopping malls the previous days. So, I urged them to at least go to TESCO so that I can go out on that day. When we reached there, we went straight for the ATM machine (we spent a lot of money the day before, buying clothes.) Then, we went to LEOMAG and I waited for my friends to buy waffle there. After that, we headed to Watson and Livin Cabin and Hinode Shop and went inside TESCO and finally, we hit the food court. There, I suddenly find that my purse was missing. Oh no~ My RM50 and my bus ticket to KL! I traced back my path I went through before and when I went down the TESCO elevator, there it was, nicely placed in front of LEOMAG, perfect for everyone to take it. I pushed my way through the crowds of people on the elevator and took my purse. Everything was still in its place. The people around there, realizing what was happening, only managed to flash a sly smile on their faces. Gosh, I was quite embarassed. But nevermind, at least, I got my purse back.

..151108: I reached the bus station at approximately 0915. My ticket, 1030. I went up to have my roti canai breakfast. When I came down, it was 1000. I waited and waited and waited but there was the Transnasional bus Iwas waiting for was nowhere to be seen. At 1025, I fell asleep on one of the chairs there. I woke up at 1035 and began searching for my bus. At 1040, I began panicking. At 1050, I came to realize that I was left behind. Damn...

.I guess, these are irrefutable proofs that I AM clumsy huh..?

Hide sorrows behind silly faces.
.Owh, of course my friends know all the silly faces I've made so many times before. Just look at Chris' blog and you'll know what I mean. But, what they don't know is what I'm hiding behind all that. Yes, I do hide my sorrows behind all those weird faces. I love seeing my friends' happiness. It just makes me forget all my worries, although it's only for that moment. Hurm, enough said of this.

Highly sensitive.
.Haha. I am undeniably sensitive. However, I rarely show it to my friends. Sometimes, what they say kinda stab my hard pretty bad but I keep it inside. O yes, that also points that I hold grudge inside. Yeah, that's bad but I can't help it. However, although the progress of losing the grudge is slow, it will eventuallt fade away and that's good. But yes, if people say something harsh to me and they are people who I thought would never say such things to me or someone dear, I'd probably cry in front of them and that shows how weak I am. Yes, yes, I do try not to take it seriously if someone's joking bout me because sometimes, they think that I never care bout what they say, well, I do care and although I try hard not to, I do mind in the end. Sorry for being so sensitive. This is one of the parts of me that I hate the most.

A critical thinker till I become irrational in thinking.
.Sometimes, I'm so good in judging on something. Most of the times, I suck at it when I become so irrational in decision makings and being an observer or even in other things. I usually look at the trifles which do not even the tiniest significance in it. If it's a small thing but it's important, then, it'd be great but when it comes to me, I'm a big disappointment. Once, he thanked me for calling him that day and I replied, "What? Why do you thank me for? So, all this while you didn't say 'Thank you' to me, does that mean that you don't appreciate me calling you? Huh?" and I'll start the fight. Oh, I pity him but at the same time, I couldn't help myself from doing so. It's funny how I look at things differently right? Or, should I say, disastrous? Sometimes, when nobody has thought of anything that someone had said, the words keep on repeating over again on my mind and that worries me a lot as I waste my time thinking of things that are not important. I usually forget the main points of what people say as I kept thinking of the small things they said previously. However, I am a good listener when it comes to my friends' problems.

Annoyance.
.Annoyance: =(
..Lack of vocabulary. In my examinations, I often can't find the word to write in my essay and that makes me use a few words to describe something that can actually be explained in a word only. As seen in my blog, I keep on using the same words in my writings. Thus, that shows how I'm a big sucker at knowing better words. Ah, how I hate that~

.Bigger annoyance: =/
..When people ask me the meaning of the word, I don't know it. Or when people ask me what is the one word that can be used to describe something, I don't know. Oh, that annoys me very much. I feel like I'm a complete idiot when that happens. I tend to regret not reading more books than I should have. It also makes me regret not taking my father's advice of look up in the dictionary of words you don't know the meaning.

.Biggest annoyance: >=/
..When people ask me the meaning of the word I've heard and known before, I can't explain it or I can't remember. Ah, this is what irritates me the most! Things like this make me want to go back to my past very much. I really really really hate it when this happens. My memorizing skills is so bad. That is one thing I hate about myself. Really. I's such a big turn off when people ask us things that we DO know but at that time, we become do NOT know.

There~!
.I've written it all:D
.It's funny when you thought that there's nothing to write about when actually you can write so many here.
.O yes, I am complicated.
.Despite all this, overall, I still love myself.